Owning Your Orgasm
The themes discussed below are of an adult nature, intended to educate, uplift and help live a more joyful life.
Owning Your Orgasm
Lure is a CBD wellness company and is focused on the health of our community. We love to talk about living well. As owners, we three co-founders Monica Reese, Summer Rice and I, Kara Kelly - have been married for a number of years. We are all on a journey of discovery.
Our guests are eminently qualified in their field and they live their health values unapologetically in their own lives.
Dr Jodie Horton OB/GYN, educator and author who believes in natural healing methods for symptoms that all keep us from getting our joy.
Dr Melva Green is a psychiatrist, Intimacy Coach and spiritual healer. She has travelled the world studying ancient healing methods such as Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and possesses a vast knowledge of the healing power of pleasure.
LL: You guys ooze pleasure and joy. I’m a lifelong learner and having been married for over 20 years, realize that there is still so much to learn. I’m thankful for Lure CBD for helping me discover the healing and pleasure associated with this ancient remedy. I learned that I needed to open up my heart to new experiences and incorporate CBD in so many aspects of my life. You ladies have a natural shine that I would wish to pass onto everyone else, so that we can all have an upward trajectory in our pleasure and relationships.
How do you define pleasure and orgasm and making sure that you’re ready?
Dr Melva Green: I tend to use those words interchangeably, but I also say orgasm isn’t the only kind of pleasure and pleasure is not the only kind of orgasm. I always promote the term, ‘living orgasmically’. Living from a place of sensuality - a place of true intimate connection with every being, every moment and every breath. It may seem a little esoteric, but it really is our natural state of being.
I believe that women are naturally erotic. We are naturally orgasmic, pleasured and pleasurable. We have been so disconnected from that and have been so disconnected from those definitions. Or maybe many of us were never connected, so our definitions that were handed down about pleasure and about orgasm have oftentimes been very confined and constricted, so what is it to me?
It’s about being alive. It is about being radiant. It is about being joyful and fully present in our lives. It’s about being able to meet everything without being completely thrown off center.
LL: So, what is blocking us from achieving orgasms more frequently?
DrMG: Societal conditioning and general limitations. Just in my field, the ‘Father of Modern Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis’, Sigmund Freud, thought that women could only have two types of orgasm - vaginal and clitoral.
Women who had clitoral orgasms were considered mentally unstable, ill and even immature emotionally. We have these definitions by people who are supposedly pioneering about how we feel and think. The gold standard of what we should be experiencing and it’s been pathologized. And so much of our conditioning is pathology-based rather than pleasure-based, and that has to shift.
In every institution the academic, healthcare, political and, lest we not forget the religious, there is always some level of conditioning.
LL: What are you hearing from women about their barriers to achieving orgasm and pleasure?
Dr Jodie Horton: I think it’s just feeling comfortable with themselves and actually talking about it. So many people don’t even bring it up with their physicians about the issue or what the issue is. I think that as physicians we have to be better about asking patients about how things are going in the bedroom or their sexual pleasures or desires and are they happy with their sex life.
Even as physicians we have so much to learn. We need to do better as physicians and as women about owning our orgasms and learning our bodies wanting and desiring pleasures and wanting better in our sex lives.
LL: Please describe what an orgasm is physically and what happens?
DrJH: Depending on which model you look at, there are four phases.
First, you have your excitement phase - increase of blood flow to the vagina. Your blood vessels start to dilate which leads to increased lubrication. Second, you have that plateau phase where your vagina elongates and becomes wetter. And then, of course, there’s the Big O – the orgasm. This involves uterine contractions. Contractions of the vagina the opening of the vagina and then the fourth phase is relaxation.
And also, during these four phases you have the release of neurotransmitters like oxytocin, serotonin, which also are part of the desire and the cuddle and love hormone. These also bring that pleasure along. That’s what physically happens to you. And this can happen through vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation or just touching anywhere on the body. Everyone is different.
Interestingly, only 25% of women have a consistent orgasm. Most women have it from clitoral stimulation. You can have blended orgasms, anal stimulation and other things that can bring you to orgasm. But learning your body and what brings pleasure to you is the most important thing.
LL: We believe that the Lure Tincture is a great way to relax so that you’re more present in the moment. The Intimacy Oil is a godsend for muscle relaxation and the Pain Relief Stick for post-sex massage. What are your perspectives on ancient healing remedies such as CBD? Can we get some practical advice on using our products to help people get to where they want?
DrJH: CBD is great for pain and stress relief. A lot of the time women will experience dyspareunia or painful intercourse. Now whether that is from vaginismus (an involuntary contraction of the vagina), endometriosis, and/or vaginal dryness - CBD can help with all of those. CBD can help increase blood flow to the vagina, which increases sensitivity of the organs and that can help you achieve a more intense orgasm. As women we always have a checklist of things that we have to do, so it helps with relaxation, living in the moment and just enjoying the act of sex and intimacy.
Whether pleasure is achieved using the Massage Oil and applying it inside the vagina, getting into foreplay, increasing the blood flow, and lubrication, these are all things that are going to help and potentially achieve that multiple orgasm.
LL: Can you talk about how reflexology of the vagina and the penis stimulates wellness in your body?
DrMG: Can I say that this feels like a coming out party for me!? So much of this information that I have shared and taught privately, I have not had an opportunity to do this at this scale.
My definition of an orgasm is not just a single point in time. It’s not how we were taught in terms of the physiological mechanisms that happen in the vagina. There’s so much more.
All orgasms are not created equal. There are many different types of orgasms that all stimulate different parts of the body as well as the brain releasing neurochemicals that make us feel good allowing us to bond, relax and move through life glowing with ease and grace.
So, an orgasm is really so much more than just the physical body. It’s energetic. TCM has for thousands of years mapped out the body via acupressure. There are different points on the body that we can trigger, press and can have stimulated that will activate and release certain hormones that will allow our nervous system to calm. This will allow us to release traumatic experiences and emotions that are trapped in the body because the body has remembrance.
I believe women are suffering from so much anxiety and depression because we have not had these deep levels of orgasm. We have not had these deep releases to be able to move and breath and be orgasmic, radiant and joyful. We are contracted, so we are not able to release those feelgood hormones that money can’t buy!
LL: Besides this conversation encouraging our readers to go and buy our Intimacy Oil and enjoy their relaxation with our Tincture, what are the two practical tips that you can leave our customers with to have a more open, joyful, pleasurable orgasm and life?
DrJH: I would say communication is key. Speaking to your partner about your likes and dislikes, that is huge. There has got to be no judgement in the bedroom. There has got to be a way to explore and bring more pleasure and that can only get better from there.
The other thing is to be comfortable in your own skin and figuring out what your body likes. Whether that’s through self-masturbation, toys, fantasies or any of those types of things. You have to remove the stigma of talking about sex. It is a completely normal part of life.
DrMG: I’d say just figure out what turns you on and give yourself permission to find out. It doesn’t have to be what turns everyone else on. Take some time and a deep dive into your own world and truths and find out what turns you on mentally, physically and emotionally in every way.
Secondly, slow down. The deepest healing orgasms - we call them ‘The Deep Cervical Orgasms’ or ‘The Deep Spot Orgasms’ - release massive amounts of hormones that literally allow someone to reset their nervous systems. These allow individuals to love in a place of calm, bliss and Nirvana. That’s what all the images of the Karma Sutra in India and the Hieroglyphs in Egypt are showing. They’re depicting these sexual positions that allow for those deeper level of orgasms that allow us to be whole, or in my world, ‘holy’.
So slow down, you cannot get there in a hurry. Those orgasms don’t come with quickies. They need a little bit of Lure CBD Intimacy Oil, a nice massage and deep penetration to hit that spot.
I promise you that you will taste Nirvana! Just remember, you cannot get to that state of ecstasy in a rush.
*Full interview can be viewed on our Intsagram IGTV tab @thelurelife